Homegrown retardation is far more pressing a problem than homegrown terrorism in modern-day America

If you needed incontrovertible proof that homegrown retardation is far more pressing a problem than homegrown terrorism in modern-day America—six-year-old Falcon Heene’s flight of fancy provided it.

The contagion that gripped the nation began on October the 15th. Anyone turning on the boob tube was treated to a live broadcast of a levitating dome-shaped “homemade flying saucer.”

MSNBC’s David “Shyster” informed his unfortunate viewers, matter-of-fact, that the small son of Richard and Mayumi Heene of Fossil Ridge Road in Fort Collins, Colorado, had climbed into a carriage attached to the helium-filled contraption which had become untethered. Boy and balloon were now scaling heights of 10,000 feet.

Indeed, nowhere was the madness more apparent than on MSNBC.

Like most of the unisex males of the left-liberal media, “girlie-boy” Shuster was flooded with emotions which he did not hesitate to share. Shuster would prefer that you forget—and he is working hard to—but the anchor devoted two full hours to tracking the imaginary “Falcon,” as he soared through the Centennial State’s skies in a rickety grey floatation device.

Other TV entertainment outlets masquerading as news media hawked the Falcon pie-in-the-sky as fact. If anything, both the authorities and the media proceeded from the premise that Falcon was in fact flying two miles above them, rather than hiding somewhere on terra firma.

When you’re slothful, stout, and stupid, it’s easier to look to the heavens than search high-and-low below.

With the blind belief reserved for all women who allege date rape (but especially for black strippers who claim to have been gangbanged by white honor students)—the Larimer County Sheriff’s Office Spokes Skirt dogmatically asserted that there was no doubt in her mind that the boy was flying high. Sheriff Jim Alderden backed her. This family (of actors) behaved, as he put it, in a believable manner. Cable channels then ran with the factoid.

By now everyone knows that the boy never took off; that the farce was a planned promotional stunt; that father Richard Heene is uneducated—an amateur actor, a skilled grafter and a self-styled storm chaser who sought extramarital spice on the reality soft porn “WifeSwap.” A Google search, or some old-fashioned shoe-leather journalism, would have revealed something about the man’s dysfunctional biography.

Yet all it took to convince the gaseous Shuster of the genuine and ingenious nature of his subject was the sight of the sophisticated “vessel,” held together with duct tape and filled with inert gas. In the adjectival ejaculate that followed, Shuster included favorable comments about the Heene family’s quirky lifestyle: how interesting they were; how spontaneous, adventurous, and devoted to science and mysticism (a contradiction, if I’m not mistaken). Shameless Schuster even reached for the mad genius cliché to describe a man—Mr. Heene—who turned out to be anything but.

The Christian parents of a home-schooled child gone airborne would never have been fawned upon but held up to scorn. I wager that our besotted boob and his extremely limited co-host, Tamron Hall, would be calling on the department of child abduction (also known as social services).

The following day, Schuster was not ready to hang his empty head in shame. Instead, he proceeded to blame the sheriff for leading him and his clever colleagues astray. For his part, Sheriff Alderden has not resigned. Driven, indubitably, by fury at his own incompetence, Alderden is, however, intent on visiting the full force of the law upon the family.

If Falcon was exhibiting the symptoms of severe stress—vomiting during the press and TV performances his grease ball of a dad had lined up—wait until the vampiric tele-child advocate Wendy Murphy gets her way and the three Heene children are made wards of the state.

As the day wore on, Schuster and Hall turned to more meaty matters. Still on the topic of balloons, the two offered up hosannas to Meghan McCain, who had plastered a grotesque image of her exposed appendages on Twitter. McCain, a licentious, self-adoring, dense liberal, kept up the momentum by penning a Daily-Beast paean to her beloved beasties. For her narcissistic efforts, the dull MSNBC duo pronounced Megan McCain a “strong conservative woman.”

The reams of verbiage these two flaccid folks had devoted to the esoteric family that fell from grace were diverted in no time to the mindless McCain.

It was wicked when assorted neoconservative organs and tools presented antiwar activists such as Cindy Sheehan as something other than what they were. And it is still execrable now that the left-liberal news filters are tarring anti-Obamacare town hall protesters as something other than what they are.

Sheehan’s cause was just. She spoke stirringly against Bush’s crimes in Iraq. Yet again and again she was dismissed by the neoconservatives as a George-Soros sponsored stooge (the details of that particular conspiracy evade me). The outcry against state takeover of medicine is in the best of traditions too. Yet the malpracticing media are discounting the fractious town-hall participants as proxies for corporate and political interests.

And worse.

The job of the press is to report events, not blanket the facts with conjecture and interpretations that are absorbed into the narrative and serve to fuse fact with fancy. Moreover, it matters not with which organizations groups of demonstrators, left or right, seek solidarity. What matters is the case they present. The rest is ad hominem, which is where discourse in the US stands.

Cronkite died the other day; news coverage croaked a long time ago.

Meanwhile, MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow stumbled on a “scoop” in the form of some online “memos,” and was intoning like a solemn commissar about corporate agents and their foot soldiers, all conspiring against state-mediated munificence. As she expounded ominously on imagined conspiracies that were really unremarkable events and associations, I was reminded of Glenn Beck’s delusional diagrams of multiplying giant ACORNS. (Beck before a blackboard, in turn, conjures Russell Crow as John Forbes Nash in “A Beautiful Mind,” minus the mind.)

Unlike comrade Keith (Olbermann), at least Maddow obeyed the journalistic imperative to interview one of the malevolent men mentioned in The Memos. And how delightful this corporatist turned out to be: “Do the oil companies fund us? No, Rachel, but I’d like to take the opportunity to urge them to support our impetus for free medicine.

“Americans with a bias for small government and big society! What next?

Sometime during the week, the Svengali shifted into campaign mode. B.O. took the time to mix it up at a town hall in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, during which he promised those invited into the charmed circle that it was not to the converted that he was preaching, but to a randomly selected group. Outside, the country was roiling — still is. Inside Barack’s Bubble the debate was flatlining like Nancy Pelosi’s brainwaves.

Speaking of whom, that frozen face and unsupple mind teamed up with Ring Leader Steny Hoyer (House majority leader) to label and libel 50 percent of Americans as “un-American,” in a USA Today op-ed, titled, “‘Un-American’ attacks can’t derail health care debate.”

Compounding their misleading conflation of the political will with the will of the people (“Health coverage for all was on the national agenda as early as 1912… Americans have been waiting for nearly a century for quality, affordable health care”), the dastardly duo dishonestly failed to mention a minor detail: The protests mirrored the polls. According to the latest USA Today/Gallup survey, “More Americans disapprove (50 percent) than approve (44 percent) of the way U.S. President Barack Obama is handling healthcare policy.”

Finally, at the time of writing, a breakthrough. Oh, the medicine of mercy! The tone on MSNBC took a turn. Anchors David “Shyster” and Tamron Hall inferred that the turbulent town hallers were a little simple, rather than “un-American.” T. Hall, who could never be called simple (her online fans vouch for the quality of her cleavage), believes “these people” ─ clearly aliens to a member of the “multicultural noise machine” ─ don’t know that Medicare and Medicaid are government-run; and they don’t get that insurance (a word she pronounces incorrectly with the emphasis on the first syllable) is a third-party entity.

Dear T. Non sequitur Hall:

From the fact that Veterans Health, Medicare and Medicaid are government-run, it doesn’t follow that transferring more of the medical industry into the same gulag is constitutional, insignificant, negligible, or unworthy of fighting.

From the fact that there are one too many mediating entities between doctor and patient, it does not follow that another ─ subject to all the wrong incentives ─ ought to be inserted.

There was one other thing that led our sleuth in a C Cup to “inform” her viewers that the mutinous multitudes were muddled beyond belief: Town hall attendees seemed to be harping on the proper role of government, and not on the minutia of the messiah’s medical plan.

Lo! Making a philosophical point instead of a utilitarian one ─ now that is dimwitted. Let me further dim the debate:

Demonstrators for a government takeover of medicine have a right to discuss their demands, but no right to enact these demands. As Yaron Brook of the Ayn Rand Institute put it, “Rights, as our founding fathers conceived them, are not claims to economic goods, but freedoms of action. There can be no such thing as a ‘right’ to products or services created by the effort of others, and this most definitely includes medical products and services.”

Protesters for a public plan have the right to seek out a doctor and pay him for his services; they have no claim to the products of his labor ─ and no right to enlist the State to compel third parties to pay for those products. This should help Tamron Hall (and her ilk), whose gaping vacuity is ameliorated only by an unbuttoned blouse.

©By ILANA MERCER
WorldNetDaliy.com & Taki’s Magazine
August 14, 2009